The Pain and Agony Expressed in Music

An extemporaneous piano piece by Emma Carroll

I’ve taken on the role of the resident old man to many younger people. A professor of psychology of the past to some. The advisor who traveled with them overseas to China, Hong Kong, Russia or in country to places like Santa Fe, NM. A medicine person who shares what I can from the Indigenous world. I’ve become the old eccentric guy who lives alone above a garage with his Christmas lights, crystal spheres, stone ravens and Northwest masks.

People from around the country come to visit or attend my periodic zoom classes on ceremony, symbols and Life Lore. They bring a sesame seed bagel, pizza, soup or spaghetti and meatballs. It has become an interesting life.

Most recently discussions have centered around the pain of Gaza and Ukraine. Not so much the politics of it all but the pain. As with many of you we discuss the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. What I’ve attempted to offer is the space where these young people allow themselves to feel the pain, to deeply acknowledge it and then to ask the universe what is needed. We are not helpless if we can think, feel and act beyond what we perceive to be the small confining box in which we live.

I wish to share with you an example. There is this amazing young woman named Emma Carroll. Emma is an engineering student at WPI where I professed. I met Emma when she attended one of the psychology classes I taught during a particularly difficult time at WPI. Six students had committed suicide and the entire campus was filled with sadness.

As she spoke in class and in her papers it was clear that Emma was a super-empath. One of those highly intelligent and highly sensitive types who experience the world at a greater depth than most. Her sense of humor flashes as quickly as her tears of angst for The Mother and her children.

Two nights ago there was a terrible bombing in Gaza. 100’s were killed. At about 3:00 AM my phone buzzed indicating a text had come in. It was Emma, and attached was the piece of music I have shared with you above. Emma couldn’t sleep and was filled with emotion from the events in Gaza … she sat at her piano and in her feelings of angst composed and played this in the moment. This piece came through. This piece is for all the children and people of Gaza who are suffering. This is Emma’s way of saying, “I am with you, and hurt with you, and want to help you but all I can do right now …. is remember you.” Emma said that after playing this she sat and cried and cried and cried.

Sometimes it is all we can do. We aren’t soldiers, or health care experts, nor do we speak the language of Palestine…but we CAN remember, and send our love…our music …. our hopes for peace. Play her piece again as you look at these images from the past two days. Have pity on us and the people of Gaza, West Bank, Ukraine, Somalia, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Israel …. please help us.

For God’s sake. For the sake of God. For the sake of the children. For the sake of the Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents … for the sake of the water, air, animals, plants and earth. For the sake of the soul of humanity. Listen to Emma’s song and STOP IT NOW.

The Pope please stand in the streets of Gaza. All the Bishops, Priests and Pastors … Gurus, Sadhus, Lamas, Sheiks, nuns, and Monks. Stand in the street of Gaza. All of the true peace keepers of the world stand in the streets of Gaza. We must stop the abandonment of these people.

History will be not kind. The world watched as the Zionists from hell and the Americans from hell murdered tens of thousands. The newest projection is that by December 600,000 Palestinians will be victims of this evil massacre.

American politicians are all committing war crimes. We are murdering babies EVERY Day. Feel the pain. Feel the angst. Play Emma’s piece over ands over and let it sink in

Fatti non foste a viver come bruti
ma per sequir virtute e canoscenza

You were not made to live like brute beasts,
but to pursure virtue and knowledge.

(Inf. 26.119-20)