I really want to see you ...

George Harrison. ‘I really want to see you Lord, but it takes so long my Lord.’

I realized I was singing that song much too often with far too much longing. I knew, know, what the singing of the song was about. More on that later. But for the sake of people who still needed me around I needed to stop singing the song with such vigor. Maybe I had tired of walking on the planet but others reported that they still needed me. My selfishness needed to find some boundaries.

This ‘blog’, or whatever it is, will not be a tell all. Those in my life need not worry. I intend to only share, as honestly as possible, my story. Why do this? I have undertaken enough introspection now to honestly say it is not to seek your sympathy or to be perceived as a victim or any other moniker that may percolate to the surface. Truly. This is the unraveling of a life, a story, and in that process sharing a process that maybe you can use in your life.

Use to unfold your story.

Use so that you don’t make the same mistakes.

Use so that you may live a wiser life.

Use so that you can help young people help stop the collective nightmare coming our way.

Use so that you never sing George Harrison’s song with vigor.

…. we can begin with a large, or small, sheet of a paper. Or a computer screen if you must. And begin with the easy dots first. The Dominant Culture Success Dots I call them. (We will be discussing the Six Dreams eventually, these Dots fall under one or two of those dreams as you will see later). For now I’ll list my Dominant Culture Success Dots. You do the same.

High School Degree

Waited tables, waxed floors, made beds, cleaned toilets, swept driveways, painted rocks, cut grass, made gravel paths, carried cases of beer, took garbage to the dump, barefoot water skied, Everett’s Hide-A-Way (1964-1970)

Co-created the Chain Skimmer Water Ski Team in Eagle River, WI in H.S.

RA, AHR, ran varsity cross country, graduated college Oshkosh, WI 1973

Masters Degree, Pacific Lutheran 1975

Created and presented one man show No One Listens Anymore. Achieved some fame

Doctorate, Mississippi State, 1981

Coached varsity track and cross country at Mississippi State and Varsity cross Country at the University of Tampa

Ran 6 marathons, dozens of 10k’s, coached successful women’s running team in St. Petersburg FL, , coached Olympic hopeful in St. Petersburg, FL

Completed Iron Man Triathlon, 1985

Director of Counseling four universities, Assistant V-P Student Affairs and Dean of Students two universities, professor at graduate and/or undergraduate level seven universities (have worked and/or completed degrees at 16 different universities across the country), Internal supervisor consultant and forecaster seven years (Florida Power Corporation), owned my own management consultant company two years.

Published peer reviewed article that won national award for best article, (1980)

Published work that appeared in text books

Personal research has appeared in at least three doctoral studies

Presented keynotes at over 40 different universities and conferences over 40 years

Served as a deck donkey (stern man) on a lobster boat for five summers off Cuttyhunk (best job ever)

Traveled as a professor with groups of students to Russia, China, Hong Hong

…. so, yes, when I die these are my funereal Dominant Culture Success Dots. Whomever is offering my eulogy, there you go! My proof of a successful life in a 17 point bulleted list! What a guy! What a life! “Look at all he did”. My lord. I’m exhausted just look at that. Hahahahaha.

…. but we know that those dots don’t tell the whole story, or the real story, or the important story. Yet, those dots are the story that appear on the resume or the CV or the vita that is pushed by every four year institution and by every business. What is the list of stuff you have done? Let me see the list of your dots.

I’m here to tell you it is the Dot Hunting that hindered my becoming a better person, a better man. It is the Dot Hunting that is at the root of the sickness of character we witness in ourselves, our lives and culture. I will go out on a huge limb and state that it is Dot Hunting that ultimately is one of the roots of the Climate Crisis and Sixth Extinction. And I will prove that to you in the weeks and months ahead.

I have thought about this, cried about this, for six year now. Six years. There is a lot to say.