The Debate Format We All Crave

Good evening and welcome to the second presidential debate being held right here in Ralph’s Tavern in Worcester, MA.. Both candidates are here, unwillingly, having been kidnapped by actual American citizens who demand honest answers about the future of this country. At the end of the debate a few decisions will be made. More on that later.

Now as you can see both candidates have an electroshock unit strapped in a ‘crown’ fashion around their head. With 21 days to the election, We the (actual) People, believe both candidates should, 1) have some awareness of the needs of the country, 2) have very clear plans for the future of this country and its people, and 3) have some actual empathy for the actual people living in this country.

Worcester, MA … where this debate is being held … is the second largest city in New England with one of the most diverse populations in the country. 12 universities are located here AND Worcester’s roots are as a mill town … having morphed into a major hub of transportation and industry in New England. Small pretty New England towns exist within Worcester County.

• The average annual salary of a Worcester Resident is $33,000

• The average annual salary of an American citizen is $59,000

• The average salary of a congressmen or senator is $175,000

• The median net worth of an American Citizen is $192,000

• The median net worth of USA congress members and senators is $1,000,000

• The cost of an average home in Worcester is $445,000

• The average cost of an apartment in Worcester is $1800/month

• 17.5 percent of the Worcester population lives in poverty (Poverty defined as $15,000 annual income for one person and $20,000 annually for two people. )

• 13% of American citizens live in poverty (42 million people)

• 14 million American children go to bed hungry labeled as “food insecure”.

• The military budget is 916 billion with 750 military sites in 80 countries

• US ranks last on key health care measures compared with other high-income nations

• The average AIPAC contribution for a pro-Zionist congress member was $125,000. A pro-Palestinian received $18,000 and a neutral member received $44,000.

• The average Ralph’s Tavern customer receives zero contribution from AIPAC.

Here at Ralph’s Tavern in the heart of Worcester we have a very nice mix of Democrats and Republicans, men and women, and a range of races and cultures all warmly invited in tonight to share a Budweiser. We are working people and cannot afford all the single malt whiskey, fancy wine and 12 buck a pop pints of ice cream we hear about. This group of people here tonight will never be part of the candidate’s $100, $200 or $10,000 per plate dinners.

I’m sharing all this detail because every question tonight will be asked by We the People (WTP) and this debate isn’t going to end until we are satisfied. The candidates will have comfortable stools to sit upon, just like us, and are welcome to have a Budweiser or a Diet Coke.

Now here is the key to this debate so listen carefully. We the People (WTP) will be asking the questions and we WILL provide the candidate with an electric shock if the candidate doesn’t answer the question as is intended. An honest, “I don’t know’ IS an acceptable answer. It is that simple. We the People WANT to hear the answers provided by the two candidates. If the people don’t like the candidate’s answer no shock will be administered. The two candidates will receive a shock under only three circumstances, 1) They don’t know the answer to questions they SHOULD know, 2) They don’t speak to the question immediately, and 3) They smear the other candidate, tell inane stories, repeat the same point multiple times, say violent things, lie, and/or behave in a greedy, soulless, violent manner.

Questions?

Each candidate will receive the same question.

Q: Donald, what is a Zionist? A: “She let millions of murderers into …. ZZZZZZZ ah!!!! ZZZZZZZZZ ah!!!!” “Why did you zap me twice?” WTP: “You didn’t answer the question and you exaggerated, lied and basically acted like a dumb shit.”

Q: Kamala, what is a Zionist? A: “I don’t know …. “ ZZZZZZZZZ ah!!! “Why did you shock me? I answered honestly!” WTP: “You are giving Zionists billions of dollars to murder Palestinians, Lebanese, Syrians, Yemenis, Iraq’s, Irani’s, Egyptians … you had better know exactly who you are giving my money to you murderous Nazi bitch.”

Q: Kamala, how many veterans commit suicide every day? A. “22.” WTP: “Wrong, but no zap.”

Q. Donald, how many veterans commit suicide every day? A. “Only cowards kill themselves and…” ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ahhh!!! (The answer is 22 AND 20 by overdose which for some reason is counted separately)

Q. Donald, what is your health care plan? A. “I have a concept”. ZZZZZZZZZ ahhhhh !!!!

Q. Kamala, what is your health care plan? A. “I’m proposing an expansion to medicare to cover the costs of an in-home aide for many seniors, a direct pitch to the adults caring for aging parents in addition to their own children. The plan, dubbed "Medicare at Home," focuses on having Medicare cover costs of home care services and nurses as a way for families to help avoid costs of nursing homes. Harris is pairing it with a plan she's already announced that would expand the child care tax credit.”

Q. Kamala, What is your plan regarding the Climate Crisis? A. “I have not released my plans for the climate crisis…” ZZZZZZZZZ ahhhh. “But neither has that Loser “ZZZZZ Ahhhhhhh!!” Donald: “Kamabla the Retard Communist” ZZZZZZZZ ahhhh!

We the People: “Look you two. Quit calling each other names, act with decorum, and formulate plans around key issues NOW. You only have 21 days.”

Q. Donald, what is your plan for the climate …. oh hell …. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ahhhhh. Donald: “You zapped me before I could answer. There is no …”ZZZZZZZZZZ ahhhhh

Q. Donald, beginning with WW2 offer us a brief history of the Ukraine/Russia Nazi/Communist relationship and what you think is at the root of this conflict, to include your thoughts about why this conflict even began. And, if you don’t know the answer what will you do as President to learn about this history and the conflict? A: “I have the biggest brain and the best words and only I can …. “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Q. Kamala, beginning with WW2 offer us a brief history of the Ukraine/Russia Nazi/Communist relationship and what you think is at the root of this conflict, to include your thoughts about why this conflict even began. And, if you don’t know the answer what will you do as President to learn about this history and the conflict? A: “I don’t know. At the debate I pretended to know. I should probably read about all this and then even ask scholars their opinions. I don’t have a policy. I don’t even know who I want to win . Please don’t zap me.” ZZ ah! Kamala: “I accept that baby zap” …. Z ah! Kamala: “What?: ZZZ ahhh!!

Q. Donald, will you stop the genocide in the Middle East and how will you do that? A. “Jerusalem has the right” … ZZZZZZ ahhh!! “Immigrants… “ ZZZZZ ahhhh “The election was stolen ZZZZZZZ ahhhhhh!!!” “Only I can stop the genocide in 24 hours.” ZZZZZZZZ ahhhh!!!

Kamala: “I’d like to say something about the genocide. That it is awful and children shouldn’t be dying or so many houses blown up but I will continue to support Israel and their right…” ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. ahhhhh!!!

Drawing Mark Taylor

Donald: “You can’t trust Muslims …”. ZZZZZZZZZZ ahhhhhh

Well ladies and gentlemen we have come to the end of this, uh, debate. Mostly because the electric circuit box is on fire and people are trying to figure out where the whale head outside the door came from?

Our conclusion here in Worcester … “Can we pick new candidates and start over?” ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. ahhhhh!!